


Fuck

by FloralEyeBalls



Series: Dumb AU's [4]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: AU, Angst, Boys Kissing, Fluff, M/M, Teen Angst, and Patrick is a baby, creepy loser Pete, he's 17, lots of F bombs, not a real baby, petes like 30, punk!patrick, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 19:45:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3949363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralEyeBalls/pseuds/FloralEyeBalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I picked you up on the side of the road because goddammit hitchhiking is not safe, what if I was a serial killer?!" Au</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Au I saw on tumblr and stole because I immediately thought of Pete/Patrick 
> 
> Also I couldn't think of a title but I think this one really captures Patrick's vibes

"Fuck it", Patrick thought, "I don't need to be here. They can't fucking make me stay here" 

Patrick's parents had sent him to a boarding school three states away from home in the hopes of getting him away from his "boyfriend" who was a "bad influence". 

In actual fact, Gerard was his best friend, and best friend only. They only kissed that one time because Patrick just wanted to make sure he actually liked boys like that, but of course his mum had to walk in just then. 

Patrick never thought of his parents to be homophobic and they kept insisting that they weren't, that they "just want what's best for you, Patrick. We don't think Gerard is a person you should be around". Which in Patrick's opinion, was fucking dumb because Gerard was pretty much the nicest guy Patrick knew. He liked art and went to feminist rallies! If anything Patrick was a bad influence on him, he was always dragging Gerard to sketchy clubs for crappy punk shows, and getting into fights. 

So now Patrick was determined to get back home and see Gerard again. Boarding school turned out to be pretty much as terrible as he expected, and he was only there for a week. He had already been in three fights, and lost them all because everyone at the school was a fucking giant. All the boys there did was play sport and make sexist jokes while reading dirty magazines, Gerard would have so much to say about that if he were in Patrick's position. 

It was probably midnight when Patrick finally had enough of listening to his dorm mates try to jack off discreetly, and grabbed his denim jacket and just left. No one even questioned him. They didn't care.

It was about 3am, three hours of waking alone down a dark highway in the freezing cold, when a beat up car pulled up next to him. 

A little part of Patrick's brain was scared, of course, but a bigger part of him was relieved. He didn't really think this whole plan through, at this rate he would be walking day and night for two weeks to get home. 

"Hey dude? Are you okay?" A deep voice called from the car. Patrick was a little blinded by the headlights so he couldn't make out much. He sounded safe enough though, so Patrick walked up to the window. 

"Yeah, I could use a lift though if you're offering?" Patrick's asked, hoping this guy would give his tired legs a break. It's not like Patrick was exactly threatening, as hard as he tried to be 'punk' he was a little over 5 feet tall and had a baby face no one could refuse. 

"Ah yeah, yeah of course. Jump in" 

Patrick sighed at the thought of sitting down finally and practically ran around to the passenger side door. 

"Thanks" Patrick said as soon as he had the door shut behind him.

He could make out the mans face in the dim lights inside the car and he looked young, not nearly as young as Patrick, but probably thirty at most, he had short bleached hair and dark stubble. Patrick's not usually into older guys, but this guy was hot. 

Patrick could tell that the man was only just fully seeing him as well because he looked a little shocked. "What are you, like 14? Why were you walking alone along a highway at 3am?!" 

"I'm 17, smartass! And it's none of your fucking business" 

"Well it probably isn't any of my business but I'm being nice here so just answer the question" 

"I ran away from school..." Patrick mumbled, realising how lame it sounds, this guy was probably really cool, he had tattoos! But he thinks Patrick is 14 and an idiot. 

"You ran away from school? You couldn't have waited till the sun was out? Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?! I could be a serial killer! Or worse!" 

Whoa, who did this guy think he was? "What are you? My mum?" Patrick replied, the car hadn't even started moving yet and Patrick was being yelled at by a stranger. 

"No, I'm just a sensible human being who doesn't like the thought of little boys being abducted by creeps driving around at 3am" 

"I'm not a fucking little boy! But you are a creep driving around at 3am so what's your story?" 

"Every night I troll the streets for runaway kids to take back to by sex dungeon" the guy said straight faced

"Ha ha" Patrick said sarcastically, he didn't know why he was being such a prick to his only way home, but he felt confident enough that he wouldn't be thrown out of a moving car anytime soon. 

"Well I could be! And you just walked straight into my car! Didn't your parents teach you stranger danger?" 

"Most kidnappings actually happen by people the kid has an already present connection to" 

"That's not the point!" 

"Well what is the point? Because I kinda wanna get home sometime and not have to listen to some random guy lecture me on the dangers of life at 3am" 

"Sorry for trying to save your life, kid" 

"Don't fucking call me kid, my names Patrick, grandpa" 

"Okay fine, sorry Pat, I'm Pete. So where's home?" 

"It's Patrick" Patrick mumbled, "uh Chicago..."

"Whoa, long way from home ki-Patrick" 

"Yeah well you can just drop me off wherever" 

"It's your lucky day, because not only did you get picked up by someone as nice as me, but it just so happens I am also going to Chicago" pete beamed, "so buckle up for a good time road tripping with uncle Petey!" 

"If you ever call yourself Uncle Petey again I will jump out of this car and find the hairiest truck driver at a gas station to take me home, I swear to god" Patrick deadpaned, trying to hide the small smile that he got thinking about spending time with Pete. 

Pete finally stated the car and they were on their way. They drove in silence. Patricks adrenaline rush from running away was wearing off, and he's catching up with the fact that he practically forced this man to drive him 3 states away. He felt a little guilty, but fell asleep after not too long. 

"Pat...patty! Wake up kid" Pete whisper shouted as he gently poked Patrick in the shoulder.

Pete thought he should probably wake Patrick up, he was starting to feel like a pedophile just watching this kid sleep. Fuck, he was a pedophile! He can't help it, Patrick is cute. Not puppy cute but "I wanna cuddle with him and kiss his dumb mouth" cute. Pete was a fucking pedophile. This really is an all time low for him. Maybe Patrick would have been better off if someone else picked him up last night. 

"m'not a kid" patrick said as he swatted Petes hand away and squinted at the sunlight streaming in through the class windows of the car "Where are we?" 

"About fourteen hours away from home if we make good time. Thought you might want food and a bathroom break?" 

"Thanks, what's the time?" Patrick asked, waking up a little more and remembering last nights events

"'Bout 10am."

"Shit. Have you been driving this whole time? Have you slept?"

"Who sounds like who's mum now huh?" Pete teased 

"Who's making poor life decisions now huh?" Patrick joked back easily, "and besides, your poor life choices could get me killed too. Don't want you falling asleep at the wheel" 

"Fuck you're right. That was probably pretty dumb. I gotta look out for you now too."

"Fuck off, I'm not like your child or anything" 

"Aw you kind of are though, son. I found you on the side of the road and now I'm gonna keep you" Pete leaned over the centre console to mess up Patrick's hair, "you're so cute" 

Patrick simultaneously blushed and scowled at the word "cute" 

"I'm not cute. I'll fucking fight you" 

"Awwwwww" Pete cooed like an eight year old with a kitten. 

"Fucking stop it!" Patrick hissed and punched Pete in the arm, hard enough to know he's had enough of the teasing 

"But your hairs all messed up and your eyes are sleepy and you're just so small! Ugh" Pete pretty much squealed in delight 

Patrick punched him again. "You can buy me breakfast to apologise for being a dick" 

"You just punched me! You buy me breakfast" 

"Because you're a dick, and I'm your son so feed me father" 

"Don't you mean daddy?" Pete said in what Patrick guessed was his 'sleazy creep' voice 

"Do you want to get punched in the face?" 

"No thank you, I'm too pretty. Let me buy you breakfast?" 

"Yeah okay. I want pancakes" Patrick smiled his best innocent smile and climbed out of the car, walking into the diner without waiting for Pete to follow. 

After Pete bought Patrick pancakes and a milkshake they went back outside to the car.

"Uh thanks, for buying me food and stuff...I'm gonna go pee" Patrick said awkwardly before running off to the bathroom. 

Truthfully he was freaking out a little bit because Pete bought him breakfast, and was really nice and Patrick maybe has a crush on him. Which for starters is totally inappropriate because Pete is like double his age, and can never happen because Patrick is in high school and Pete thinks he's "cute" the way babies and puppies are cute. 

He does his business, washes his hands and bangs his head against the wall a few times before existing the bathroom. 

"You all good? Last stop before home" Pete beams at his from the car. Why's he always smiling? What's he so happy about? 

"Dude you said we were fourteen hours away? You can't drive another fourteen hours after not sleeping last night." 

"Eh I've done it before" Pete brushed off Patrick's concern 

"Sure but this time you have me and I don't really wanna die so...." 

"Oh right. I can't afford a motel though...."

"Sleep in the car? I just did it for like six hours, it's not too bad" 

"I'm not tired" 

"How fucking old are you?" 

"Look Patrick, I'm not very good at sleeping. It's hard at night so no matter how long you hold us up I'm not going to get any decent sleep in a carpark at noon okay?" Pete snapped at him 

Patrick was a little taken back, sure he didn't known Pete for more than a day but he didn't think he'd talk to him like that when all Patrick was trying to do was help. 

"Fine, like I fucking care. Let's go" Patrick got in the passenger seat and slammed the door 

Pete sighed loudly before getting in his own side and starting the car, "sorry. I didn't mean to sound mad at you", he sounded genuinely sorry but Patrick was 17 and liked to sulk so he just kept staring out the window. "We can stop when it's a bit darker and try to get some sleep. I want to get you home as soon as possible, I bet your parents are worried" 

Patrick gets bored of sulking about forty minutes after that, "do you have any good music?" 

"I don't know, define good" Pete smiles at Patrick, letting him know that whatever that little argument was before is behind them now. 

"Like punk, pop punk idk? Something loud and angsty" 

"Ah I remember when I listened to loud angsty music" Pete said sounding nostalgic 

"Yeah well what do you listen to now?" 

"The same loud angsty music but in privet." Pete smiled "Nothing in the car, sorry kid" 

"Well this is going to be a long journey" Patrick mumbled 

"We can talk? Or is that too lame? Talking was never cool with the kids" 

"Don't say 'cool with the kids' you're not that old" 

"I am pretty old though" 

"So what do you want to talk about?" Patrick asked, changing the subject. He didn't want to talk about the massively inappropriate age difference between him and his latest boy crush. 

"I don't know...school? Friends? You got a girlfriend?" Pete turned his head and lifted his eyebrows on the last word, smirking

"No." Patrick shut him down quickly. He blushed and tried to hide it by staring out the window and away from Pete 

"Ohh touchy subject? She break up with you? Cheat on you? That happened to me a lot in high school..." Pete was babbling, excited to be talking about girls and high school, it took his mind off how crappy his life was now. Took him back to a simpler time.

"No I don't like girls" Patrick said, trying to sound bold, but in his head he was a little scared that Pete was going to hate him and break his heart and his nose before dumping him 12 hours from home. 

"Oh that's cool. You like boys? I like boys too" Pete just went straight on babbling again 

"What?" Patrick gaped, Pete liked boys? Shit. This was not going to help his situation. 

"What? I like boys. And girls, bisexuality bro" 

"Yeah ah...I don't know" Patrick didn't really know how to continue the conversation but he wanted to stop talking about this. If Pete said he liked boys one more time Patrick would explode. 

"So do you have a boyfriend then?" 

"No, my parents think I do though, that's why they sent me to boarding school. Apparently he's a bad influence" 

"Is he?" 

"Nah, he's the sweetest. He makes me these really cool drawings of bands and movies that I like and stuff, he's really talented" Patrick smiled a little, he always did when he thought about Gerard 

"I can see why they think you're dating" Pete laughs "do you wish he was your boyfriend?" 

"No, I used to think I did. But we kissed and now I realise that I just really love him as a friend, you know? That's a thing right?" 

"Yeah of course. I understand. So you got shipped away because of your not-boyfriend and now you're using me to get back to him?" 

"Something like that. I'm not "using" you tho" Patrick put air quotes around 'using' "That sounds creepy. What about you? You can't make me talk about my lack of a love life and not tell me anything about yours" 

"Ahh well I was kinda dating someone a while ago and I thought I loved him but it didn't work out" Pete stared straight ahead and avoided eye contact. 

"That's too fucking vague! Tell me what happened! You're the one who wanted to talk" Patrick demanded, he was mostly teasing but he did want to know. 

"You'll think I'm a creep, it'll make this awkward" Pete ran a hand through his short hair

"I already think you're a creep" Patrick replied automatically before he decided not too be a massive dick this time and give Pete an escape incase this is something he really can't talk about, "but whatever....so what's your job? You're an adult and they have jobs right? So..." 

"Oh um I was a bassist in some crappy bands and now I'm unemployed. Im barely an adult, don't take any advice from me kid" 

"You play bass? What bands? would I know them?" It was Patrick that was babbling now 

"Whoa calm down little music nerd" Pete laughed "I'm not very good. My bands sucked and I hope you haven't heard them" 

"Oh okay. I am kind of a nerd tho. I write songs, and play drums, and guitar, and bass...and the piano...and the trumpet" Patrick listed, trying not to sound pretentious 

"Holy fuck, I picked up like a little fucking Mozart or something" Pete laughed and took his eyes off the road to smile at Patrick. His smile was so big it seemed to take over his face, his eyes crinkled up in the corners and to keep it brief he looked beautiful. Patrick held his breath. 

"I-I'm not really great at any of those things though" Patrick stuttered out 

"I'm sure you are" Pete said it like it was a fact, and Patrick almost believed it. 

By the time it started to get dark later in the afternoon Pete looked just plain sick. His eyes were red rimmed and surrounded by dark bags. "We need to pull over and you need to sleep" Patrick stated after Pete forgot what the clue was in their game of I Spy for the third time in a row. 

"Nah I'm fine. You can sleep if you're tired though" Pete tried with a weak attempt at a smile

"Why are you being a fucking idiot?" 

"What? I don't..."

"Shut up and pull over" 

Pete sighed but did what he was told. 

"I'm going to stare at you until you fall asleep" Patrick said while doing his best 'authority figure' glare 

"Pat...." 

"Don't 'Pat' me"

"Patrick" Pete started seriously, "I don't wanna sleep. I don't like it"

"What do you mean you don't like it? Sleep is great" 

"Not for everyone" Pete avoided eye contact, "I ah.... this always sounds really dumb but I get nightmares" Pete laughed after he said it, trying to cover that fact that he didn't really tell people about this stuff. 

Patrick stiffened, realising this was serious. He wasn't used to serious conversations with near strangers. "Oh....I'm sorry"

"It's okay. Not your fault" Pete was still staring at the steering wheel. 

"You can't really keep driving like this though, you'll have an accident" Patrick said after a brief silence 

"Yeah I suppose...."

"You can take the back seat if you want, I'll just chill up front" Patrick offered 

"Um this might be weird and totally appropriate, but do you want to lay with me?" Pete blurted out, he decided there was no non-creep sounding way to say it. "The ah nightmares aren't so bad when I'm not alone..." He trailed off. This was a dumb idea. Patrick doesn't want to try squish into a shitty back seat with a shitty dude he doesn't know. 

"Yeah sure" 

Patrick said it nonchalantly, but he sort of couldn't believe it. Lying next to Pete when he had a massive metaphorical hard on for him was probably a terrible idea. Patrick has never really made good choices. 

"Really?" Pete asked, looking hopeful and way too much like a puppy for a grown man 

"Yeah of course. We're friends right?" Patrick asked, hoping that they were close enough to be friends already while simultaneously trying not to let on that he wants to be more than friends. 

"Friends. Yeah" Pete laughed and climbed into the back seat.

Patrick opted to use the four doors the car has and got out before opening the door into the back and trying to work out how both him and Pete are doing to fit on the narrow bench seat. 

"Just take your shoes off and get in. I'll make us fit" Pete reassured 

Patrick didn't say anything. Just took his boots off and crawled, rather awkwardly onto the seat, where he kneeled and waiting for Pete to give him some sort of direction. It felt vaguely sexual. Kneeling in front of another man. Patrick shivered. "So how exactly do you plan to make this work?" He was proud of himself for not saying "how do you want me?" 

"Um okay, so you just lie in my arms and I'll hold you so you don't fall off the seat. Like spooning" Pete explained, beaconing Patrick down.

"Who says I'm the little spoon? We're probably the same hight you loser" 

"Yeah but you're like 12 so...." Pete smirked 

"I will still punch you in the face Pete, don't test me" 

"Just lie down please. I promise I'm a good big spoon" 

And that's all it took before Patrick was carefully lying down next to Pete, trying and failing to keep some distance between them. 

"It's not going to kill you to touch me you know?" Pete joked and pulled Patrick against is body. Back to chest. 

Patrick thought it may just kill him. 

"Fuck you. I don't want fleas or whatever other parasites you're carrying" Patrick wriggled in Petes grip to emphasise his point

"No fleas, I swear. The bleach kills them all" Pete tightened his grip on him and rubbed his forehead into the back of Patrick's head. 

Patrick laughed to avoid crying at the feeling of Petes muscular arms around his waist and across his chest. "Try to sleep dumb ass" 

"But it's too early" Pete pouted,"and this is a sleepover so tell me all your secrets and I'll braid your hair, Patty"

"Fuck off, I'd have to kill you if I told you all my secrets" 

"Ohhhh now I have to know!" 

"Ok well I'll tell you just one, are you ready?" Patrick whispered, "the guy behind me is a massive weirdo" Patrick tried to sound serious but couldn't hold in a smile. Petes dumb 'smiling at everything' thing must be contagious. 

"Wow, cut me deep kid" Pete faked hurt. "I have one for you. The guy in front of me tries to act tough but I can tell he's a cuddler" Pete emphasised by squeezing Patrick even more. 

"The guy behind me is slowly suffocating me" 

"The guy in front of me loves it" 

"The guy behind me thinks too highly of his spooning abilities"

"The guy in front of me is adorable when he's trying to be mad"

"The guy behind me is about to get head butted" Patrick said as he rolled around in Petes arm to face him

"The guy in front of me is really pretty" Pete whispered before closing the small distance between himself and Patrick. 

They kissed fast. Less of a kiss really and more of a press of lips and a warm embrace, before Pete pulled back and stared at Patrick with wide eyes, "I-I'm so sorry, that was dumb. I'm sorry" 

Petes arms were still around Patrick's back. Patrick was shocked. He couldn't believe that just happened. Did that just happen? Pete kissed him? 

"Don't be" Patrick blurted out, "don't be sorry. I liked it. I like you?" He smiled hopefully. Hoping he didn't get his feelings crushed. 

"I like you too Patrick, but I don't know if this is okay. You're 17...." Pete was trying to convince himself not to do this. Not to do this to Patrick and to himself. 

Patrick felt hurt. Then he felt mad. "I'm don't some dumb kid you know!" He spat as he trashed hard to get out of Petes fucking death grip, "let me go!" He said a little hysterically 

"Pat..." Pete said softly 

"Don't fucking call me Pat!" Patrick growled as he got out of the car and slammed the door. 

"Well I'm right back where i started" Patrick thought, "walking down an abandoned highway late at night" 

"Patrick!" Pete called from that car not too far back. Patrick was a slow walker when we was brooding. "Come back please. I know I'm an idiot but please don't do anything dangerous" he sounded desperate. 

"Fuck you Pete!" Patrick yelled out, because he could. 

He ended up just sitting down on the road side and waiting for Pete to come to him. Sure he was mad and felt a little stupid right now but he didn't really want to walk to Chicago. 

"Patrick...." Pete gasped, breathing heavily from the jog from the car, "I'm sorry. Please don't be mad" he pretty much whimpered and Patrick was trying so hard not to cave in 

"I'm not mad" Patrick said madly 

"Don't be childish. I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry that I kissed you and I'm sorry that I made you feel however you're feeling. Can we get passed this because I'm not leaving you on the side of the road and I'd rather not kidnap you" 

"So you didn't want to kiss me? You don't like me?" Patrick's voice shook a little. He wasn't going to cry. Why would he cry? That's not very punk. 

"No Patrick..." Pete started, voice laced with sympathy. He sat down, cross legged in front of Patrick, "I really really wanted to kiss you, believe me, and I think you're amazing. And I know you aren't a child, but I feel like it might be wrong for me to get into a relationship with you right now. You should be with some who's at the same stage of life as you, not some fucking thirty year old loser who drives around at 3am" 

Patrick couldn't look him in the eye, "what if I like the thirty five year old loser? What if he was cooler than anyone my age? What if I know what I'm doing and I've thought about this and I just want to try this out" he knew he probably sounded stubborn and sulky, "This makes me happy. You make me happy Pete. I probably sound like a kid with a crush but I've had a really fun time hanging out with you, even though we don't do anything particularly exciting and I don't want this to end just yet" 

"I feel the same way Patrick. I've been having a shitty time lately and finding you on the side of the road was pretty much that best thing that could have happened. If you really want to I'm willing to try this out, but I can't make promises. You might grow out of me in a few months..." Pete laughed a little self depreciatively 

"I won't. You're too pretty" Patrick looked up and smiled at Pete. 

"Always using me for my looks" Pete scoffed, "so can we spoon now? Because it's cold out here and I think there's probably snakes in the grass over there" 

"Yeah let's go" Patrick got up and took Petes hand, pulling him up as well, "you make an okay big spoon" 

"Just okay?" Pete pouted 

"Okay-ish" Patrick teased, he took Petes hand is his as they walked back to the car.

**Author's Note:**

> I did not intend for this to be so long?
> 
> Also if some really cool cat wanted to beta for me because I can't read my own writing without crying that would be rad. You could leave a comment and we could work something out where basically I'll email you things before I post them and you can tell me how much they suck and take out my 500 unnessesary commas and I'll pay you in sexual favours? ((Not really. You kinda get nothing out of this deal? I can read stuff for you too?)) you don't have to be great at editing or anything, just willing to help :)


End file.
